I Remember; I'll Never Forget

Tim A. Michael
 

I remember that day like few others; it was a blue cloudless sky.

I remember driving to work on this beautiful morning.

I remember stopping and grabbing breakfast to-go –
eggs, bacon and crispy hash browns from the Dixie Café.

I remember plans to leave mid-morning to meet my wife at Cooks Children’s Hospital for Katie’s check up.

I remember the day was much like any other at the cube farm until...
rumblings and news that a plane flew into one of the Twin Towers.

I remember gasps and disbelief that it was a passenger jet. Then a 2nd into the other Tower. The Pentagon. A 4th Passenger Jet in a Pennsylvania field.

Terrorism. Dear God.

I remember leaving work and heading to Cooks Children's Medical Center for the appointment and tuning in to WBAP 820 talk radio.

I remember the news soon came that the South Tower (2nd hit) crumbled to the ground.

I remember it was difficult finding a parking spot when I arrived at the hospital.

I remember I ran to the doctor's office waiting room.
 

I’ll never forget watching the North Tower crumble as we stood in the waiting room.

I’ll never forget the surreal feeling as history unfolded before our eyes like a tragic movie with no happy ending.

I’ll never forget the anger and anguish.

I’ll never forget the loss and despair as the reality of hundreds and maybe thousands were dying in front of my eyes.

I’ll never forget the horror of that day and just wanting all of my family to be together in one place – safe.

I’ll never forget returning to work adjacent to Carswell JRB and seeing our security guards armed with ARs.

Force Protection Charlie.

I’ll never forget the new normal.

I’ll never forget the anxiety at work and people just wanting to leave to go home and be with their loved ones.

I’ll never forget the planeless skies for the next few days in a place that was normally filled with them.

I’ll never forget the darkness of that bright sunny day.

I’ll never forget...I remember!

 

I remember who did it and why.

I remember who stood up, and who stood by.

I remember who rose up and who shrank back.

I remember; I’ll never forget.

The Trump Card to The Race Card

A Post Mortem of the 2016 Election
Part 1 - PC BS DOA Today
 By Tim A. Michael

 

"...and the government shall be upon his shoulder..." Isaiah 9:6

 

As a voter that didn’t really have a “home” this general election cycle, I believe I have a unique perspective regarding the process and eventual outcome of it. That said, I’ll just say this

 

“Welp - I didn't see that coming!”

I have often said that I don't mind admitting when I miss the mark on something. When I make a public pronouncement that proves to be erroneous, I am happy to utter those 3 words that haunts most of humanity:  "I was wrong!" And boy was I. Of course judging from the melting snowflakes in the streets of many of our nation's cities, I was not alone on this score.

As many of you know, I was not a Trump supporter and engaged heavily in speculative criticism of him, the VAST majority of which I believe was warranted. The jury is still out on some of those indictments.  Here's the rub for me, and so many of my truly conservative compatriots, if The Donald had struck a nicer tone and/or a more conciliatory persona during the primaries, it's likely the Republican Party would have nominated a different candidate...and LOST the election.  I'm choking on those words as I write them. He tapped into the frustration and anger of the disenfranchised very effectively, and leveraged it for the win.

I think we can safely say that the PC BS is now DOA (although there are still plenty of folks throwing the paddles to it – CLEAR!). I underestimated the impact of just how many people were fed up with political correctness.  I bought into the lie that the "new normal" had become "the new normal" for a majority of Americans (which according to the popular vote may still be the case).  I thought the middle-class middle-Americans had accepted "white privilege" as a fact rather than the sham shaming tool used to perversely pontificate, reversely discriminate, harshly pre-judge. I really had little faith left in my fellow Americans. Well newsflash, there's still half of the country that embraces the red, white, and blue to fly it proudly, and honor it loudly, and unapologetically. 

I underestimated many things in this election, but the one that leaves me scarred the most is my not believing my own truth: A lot of people will forgive the short comings of someone when they believe them to be authentic.

Being "real" has been one of my strongest bits of advice to my kids. Embrace the "real" and shun the "fake." I think I struggled with The Donald's flip-flops so much that I wasn't willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on being "real." In fact, I was so sure that he wasn't, that, rather than trust people like Ben Carson, Pastor Robert Jeffress, and Mike Huckabee, it diminished my faith in them instead.

 

How could they trust this “Johnny-come-lately” "conservative"? How could he be trusted when he spent so much of the primary executing a scorched earth policy toward his own party and promoting big government solutions to healthcare including “single-payer” socialism? How could I trust him. I couldn’t. I didn’t. I still don’t fully.

But, when Trump was getting “real” in his own way, he was kicking over the sacred cows of political correctness and shocking the elite left with such outrageous comments like "We're going to make America great again," and "We're going to build that wall!"  They simply dismissed him as a fool and completely underestimated how much he resonated with so many Americans. 

 

I vacillated between agreeing with them at times, and cheering him on at times. I was completely conflicted. Who among the truly adult population doesn't scoff at the terms "white guilt/privilege" and the concepts of "safe spaces"? Yet who among the adult population doesn’t also expect their Presidents to be, well, “adults”? I’ve spent the last 8 years decrying President Obama’s childish behavior, and so did so many Trump supporters. Suddenly they were willing to overlook it in their candidate? Hypocrisy much? Of course.

The most disappointing thing to me about the entire process was the vitriol leveled at long-time conservatives and their principles/values. The rift wouldn’t have been so wide (and election so close) if they had simply acknowledged their brethren’s concerns rather than scoffing at them. To do so would entail them acknowledging their own duplicity. they chose to attack others instead.

Calling Ted Cruz an “insider” was an egregious mischaracterization when he has spent his entire Senatorial career fighting both the Democrats and the Republican establishment. Moving deeper into the abyss, they just started calling him “lying Ted.” He deserved better. He still does. He actually still deserves an apology. Trump also accused Ben Carson of being a “pathological liar” but he put it even less delicately, and I quote: 

 

“Now. If you’re pathological, there’s no cure for that, folks. Okay, there’s no cure for that. And I did one of the shows today. And I don’t want to say what I said. But I’ll tell you anyway. I said that if you’re a child molester, a sick puppy, you’re a child molester, there’s no cure for that. There’s only one cure—we don’t want to talk about that cure. That’s the ultimate cure. Well, there’s two, there’s death, and the other thing.”

Donald and “The Trumpettes” trashed everything in their path. The Trump Train had no crossing arms or warning lights, just loud horns and full-steam-ahead. They left bodies, reputations, institutions, and decorum strewn in their wake. They trashed some good people along the way. For me, that was unconscionable.

 

Ted Cruz was my guy, and he and his wife were treated unfairly. I still feel this way. The dismissive way that Trump and his supporters treated people, and traditional conservative policies was for many unforgiveable. For others, they were willing to set that aside without a second thought. To me, it smelled of compromise and seemed, well, unseemly. Ethics expendable. Morals mortgage-able. Principles passé.  We’ve seen it all before in the nominations of RINOs. Vomit.  Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

Yet, while many in the party were sounding the alarm, the people that he said would support him if he shot someone on 5th avenue were all out grabbing shovels to help hide the body(ies). As the primary moved into it’s later stages, it seemed many of his supporters would take the gun from him and shoot his opponents themselves. The Trump trained rivaled Obama’s messianic movement which was another red flag to give the principled conservatives pause. Again, they were/are ready to accept government-run single-payer healthcare system for control of the executive branch and the SCOTUS. Many of us were ready to let the whole thing burn to the ground in hopes a more perfect Union could rise from the ashes.

The Donald went on to win an amazing victory. He did so with a LOT of people holding their nose while they cast their ballot. I know a significant number of “Cruz Missiles” that were launched AGAINST Hillary. I know a bunch of evangelicals personally that voted FOR Mike Pence. I too believe him to be an honorable man.

 

Additionally, don’t underestimate the number of people who were completely outraged that James Comey announced the Sunday before election day that he would not pursue the investigation against Hillary. This enraged a large percentage of conservatives and seems to have pushed many to the polls that Tuesday. Exit polls suggest a lot of republicans “came home” despite their disdain for Trump.

What I’ve seen from him since his election, from his gracious victory speech to his deliberative and measured way of assembling his cabinet, gives me hope. I’ve heard the stories of people who were close to newly elected presidents saying they could see the mantle descend upon them, even changing their countenance. The petulant childish Donald of the primary seems like a distant memory, at least for now. Even the vast majority of his most strident supporters seem to be following his lead. Good. Both had a LOT of growing up to do.

 

Smugness and petulance is the territory of liberals. We (conservatives) are better than that, so let’s wipe that mud off our boots. We can re-litigate the primary and it’s contentiousness if needed, but what one famous loser once said, “what, at this point, difference does it really make?”  At this point? – none.  Going forward, He will be highly scrutinized by partisans on both sides. Buckle up, it’s likely to be a bumpy ride. And as a footnote to the #nevertrumpers – never say “never!”

 

How could Michael Moore have been so right and I have been so wrong?  Excuse me while I go lick that wound.

In Part II I’ll discuss the blind spots of the democrat left, some of my less than congenial responses to them, and what they may need to consider going “forward.”

Women of Nobility

Sitting on my back porch this morning in quiet solitude, I am enjoying the rain on this Mother’s Day 2015. I’m not a fan of the contrived, commercialization, coercion, and yes, added condemnation that comes from the Hallmark Holidays. So much of what they’re about is the polar opposite of the two women I admire most in my life, my Mom and my Wife. They are anything but contrived – they are the most authentic people I know.

Mom was born October 10, 1929 – 2 weeks before the start of The Great Depression. She was the 2^nd to the youngest of 9 kids – 7 sisters and 1 brother (poor guy). Her life was carved out of trial by fire – the poorest of the poor. For part of her life they lived in an abandoned broom factory. The O’Hara clan also picked cotton.

One of the legacies mom has built over her lifetime – now 85+ years – is that she understood what an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay meant. When my biological father left her with 3 kids 11, 5, and 6 months, she worked at Morton Foods, which may explain my affinity for potato chips. We lived in “the green apartments” (see projects) off of Harry Hines BLVD in Dallas, Texas. Broken-hearted and broken financially, mom pressed on. Today, if you asked her she would tell you she is weak, scared, and nothing special. I know better – she is strong, courageous, and one of the most special women I’ve ever met in my life.

She’s been with the man of her dreams now for 51 years. But, for 4 ½ years, an eternity by today’s standards, she fought through poverty, loneliness, and even despair. She would tell you today that life is a journey and we figure it out along the way. That’s what she did, and that’s what we did. Our family struggled financially until sometime while I was in High School. Even through those hard times, she always preached to work hard, be thankful, and be generous. It’s funny how she was never one to take charity (see welfare), but has always been one of the most generous people I know.

Ally was born in Houston, Texas March 9, 1966. She was living in a Trailer Park in Roanoke, Texas when I met her. She was younger than I realized at the time – 6 years my junior – but she had two important qualities that stood out…wait – not those, but yes, but I mean she had a couple of assets – shoot – two points – dang – two really nice features… She was tough as nails and authentic. THERE!

When someone is real with you, when one is genuine, you can build a relationship. Authenticity MUST be the foundation of every relationship in one's life. We have tried to instill that in our 3 kids and it has been painful at times. Know this: the world will leverage authenticity against you. By its very nature, society itself is anything but authentic. Though reality TV is extremely popular, it is anything but real. People are hypocrites. For the one who swims against that current, to be naked and vulnerable, there is great risk of ridicule and rejection.

Our family has suffered through this. The reason most people aren’t real is because they fear rejection. So many relationships and marriages fail because they are built on lies in the attempt to avoid said rejection. Ultimately, when the house of cards falls, the very thing they were trying to avoid is the very thing with which they are left. TRUTH really DOES set you free.  I’m so thankful for a wife that lets me be ME without consequence or rejection. She challenges me when I’m wrong, and on the rare occasion I get something right, she gives me high praise. She has set the standard of authenticity in our home.

She is still tough as nails and will fight for what is right. She has chased down a wife beater on the side of the road (while I was on the phone with her), she has confronted a dad who was hitting his son in public, and she’s drawn her gun on two men trying to force a woman into their home against her will. She is a defender of the weak and oppressed. She passionately advances and defends her convictions, and lives her life as a light shining in a dark world. She does so without regret or apology, and that is amazing to me.

I am a very blessed husband and son. As a man, I left my father and mother and cleaved to my wife. She has so many of the wonderful traits my mother showed me were important in a woman, a mother, and a wife. I am forever thankful that the Father in Heaven chose Esther Beatrice (Barbara) O’Hara/Michael/Rockwell to be my mother. I'm also so very grateful that He chose Mary Alicesun Williams/Michael to be my wedded wife – to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or health, till death do we part.

This side of heaven, these women are living examples of what the pioneer spirit of early America looked like and what serving our Lord really means. They have never been too proud to work hard or serve others. They’ve shown that they are willing to be last, so this day I honor them first – my first-fruits of love.

Proverbs 31 is a Mother teaching her son – a KING – some very important qualities for which to seek out in a wife. I can relate to so much to this as I have a mother and wife who fit this description so well – Happy Mother’s Day Mom and Ally!

Proverbs 31 Sayings of King Lemuel

The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!
Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.

It is not for kings, Lemuel— it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer,
lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish! Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The storm continues to rage, the winds continue to blow, and the rain pours, I watch from my porch as a sparrow brings her babies breakfast – the heart of a mother. A few minutes later two egrets are flying by into the wind and rain. I perceive these two are mates, the wife by his side no doubt prodding to stop and ask for directions. Still, by his side she flies, in the storm, in the rain, in this life – the heart of a wife.

Happy Birthday Ally

 

 

 

Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. Proverbs 31:29-31

You are the most unique person I know. To some people that might seem a strange and even disquieting description; to some even an affront; yet to you, the highest of compliments.

 When you were forged by God, He created you out of the most contrasting of elements: titanium and linen, oak and limestone, maple and sandstone, tungsten and clay, fire and water, and I would have it no other way. When Jesus encourages us to “let your light so shine before (others)…” yours burns brightly in a way that warms others, and sometimes even makes them sweat…I love it!  Shine on sister.  

I love that you’re tough as nails and soft as down, ready to defend others and loving the “unlovely.” Your life has been about taking that which is discarded and transforming it into the valuable and precious; I know of no other principle closer to the heart of God. 

I also love how you love me. It fills me with a sense of wonder and freedom. There is a piece of me that cried out to be independent and free of all accountability, yet you took it captive and threw in a  dungeon in a faraway place, unreachable by the mortal body, soul, or spirit to be held hostage until death do we part. Little did I know, that piece of me was holding ME hostage to a life of emptiness and ultimately ruin. You continually put on display the kind of love God Himself requires of his children.

Thank you for loving others back to life, even at the expense of your own – laying down your life for others, picking up your cross, and following Him to places others refuse to travel. You are a lamp on a lampstand.

You are a lioness protecting her cubs. You are a sultry smoking hot lover loving her husband with passion and grace. You are a faithful friend, trusted confidant, soldier in arms, partner in prayer, and lover of life. You are real; the antithesis of plastic. You are organic, earthy, wholesome and hearty. Thank you God for my lovely bride and precious friend, a friend like no other:

You are irrepressible and irreplaceable,

 You are imaginative and image Deo, 

You butter my bread and bust my chops.

You are the French to my kiss and the frost on my glass of beer.

You are the melody to my song and the spring in my step.

You are the beat of my drum and tempo of my life.

You challenge me to be a better man when I want to let out with a primal scream and string of expletives.

You epitomize what it means when a husband and wife become one.

You are my missing rib.  je t'aime forever.

Lost and Found
Lani Paige Patterson

Tim A. Michael

2-5-13

 

I was up well before dawn this morning.  My alarm goes off at 4:40 am every work day. This morning would commence with more mourning.  Sweet Paige is gone. “…weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning” (just not THIS morning).  This young day has been filled with bitter tears and sobbing.  About 6:15 my daughter Whitney descended the stairs to head out to work only to find me still in robe and house shoes. She asked about the arrangements and I just started coming apart at the seams again. The love and embrace of one of your children is comfort beyond words. There will be no work for me today.  (I made it through yesterday as I fought through a perpetual lump in my throat and tears all day only to break down into a blubbering mess in the parking lot as I left for home. The Comforter swooped in and reminded me again about home – she’s home, finally home.)

I grabbed a roll of paper towels, a damp cloth, and my cup of coffee as I sought refuge in my quiet place – the back porch and my Adirondack chair. My faithful friend Linus joined me.  A temperate morning for February found the fog thick around the street lights that line the median of the street behind my house.  The darkness seemed thicker and colder in spite of the mid 50’s that greeted me. I sipped my very strong and very black coffee while fending off a playful dog that refuses the term “no” when fetch is on his mind. He just doesn’t get it, I’m in no mood to play, only mourn.

 I love to sit on my back porch that faces south and slightly east and watch the sunrise. Today’s sunrise was scheduled elsewhere. Dawn’s early light would simply seep into an overcast day – grey and seemingly without promise; a perfect picture of my emotions. Two dove flash across the dawning sky – I quickly name them “Comfort” and “Peace.” The Holy Spirit is here. I well up again in grief, and regret, and thanksgiving. Such are the gamut of emotions of the grieving. I whisper-shout “Linus! Please! Forget about the friggin ball!” I take him inside so I can collect my thoughts and pray.

I made a 2^nd pot of coffee and go pee and pee and pee.  When I return to my back porch I notice it’s a little lighter outside, and a little colder. I decide to make a fire in the fire pit and offer up my paper cry towels and snot rags as burnt offerings. “I call to you, Lord, come quickly to me; hear me when I call to you. May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.” Psalms 141:1-2

I notice the two dove are now sitting on my back fence. I fall apart again. In quiet peace they sit for a visit.

Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Matt 6:10

The world is waking up now; the purple finches are chattering, more cars are on the street, people rushing off to work and/or school, life goes on while our world is on pause. It’s not fair. The realization of that truth settles in again – Life is not fair. We live in a hostile environment where the weight of this world presses against us, prevailing winds are always contrary, and the rush of the current saps the strength from heartiest of souls. Comfort and Peace are still nearby cooing and wooing my heart. I cry some more and beg the Father for answers.

The littlest things are now irritating and troubling me:

Why wouldn’t that stupid dog put down the damn ball!?!!

The same reason Paige couldn’t put down some of the things in her life – innocence.

Innocence?  How do you call substance abuse innocence? How many times had she been warned? How many times had she been rebuked? How many times had she been treated?

How many times had she been MIStreated and rejected?  How many times had she been loved unconditionally?

We loved her, and we accepted her into our home and our family.

Well done.

No.  We still failed her.  We let her out of our grasp; we looked away for a moment and she was gone.

She was never out of my grasp.

“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” John 10:28-30

All who call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Romans 10:13

Innocent. Paige was called “innocent” by the One who holds the keys to all things. Her sins not counted against her.  Almost exactly a week prior to getting that call we all dread, Paige sat on our living room couch willingly offering up accountability for a weekend of partying. It was an open door to usher in some light. In a very gentle and unique way, the Holy Spirit showed up and introduced her to Jesus – the author and finisher of her faith. She acknowledged her sin and started her dialogue with her Savior.

We explained that religion doesn’t save anyone, but salvation comes through a personal walk with the Lord. She started her walk that day, in innocence, and the limited understanding she had. She may have only traveled a very short distance with him, but that’s okay. Some people are saved and delivered and healed in an instant. For others it takes time to grow through and out of generational vices that are rooted deep.  Paige didn’t have time to get all of that uprooted from her life. She fell victim to her flesh and a longing for the leeks of Egypt – she wanted the comfort of her “normal.”

Looking for Lodging

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. John 14:1-3

For most people, home is a place of comfort and rest, but for all intents and purposes Paige was homeless when she came to stay with us. That was her normal.  She drifted in and out of houses and lives like a boat on a journey of discovery rather than a ship on a mission. Paige lived in the moment. Her understanding of tomorrow was that it would eventually come. That too was her normal. Life was fluid and organic and often empty. She was looking for something or someone to fill that void.

Paige was a walking enigma. She went by her middle  name which means “Helper.” I know deep down that was the cry of her heart, but first she needed to be helped. There was a day when Ally was handing out “assignments” at the house, and Paige raised her hand and said “I want to help! Give me an assignment!” She wanted to fit in and connect, and to us she fit in just fine. Incidently, her first name was Lani which is originally Hawaiian for "sky" or "heaven."

We’ve all heard the old adage “God hates the sin but loves the sinner.” Well, I have a new appreciation for that today.  I have seen up close and very personal the destructive power of that sin that God hates. Evil exploits innocence. Evil destroys the innocent. Even then the Father picks up the pieces and puts them back together again. In that conversation with Paige, we assured her that there was no way she could “behave” her way out of our family or His. God’s love and forgiveness is unconditional for those that come to Him. I know that runs counter to some traditional Christian views. Some of you think you can” back-slide” and be thrown out of the club. Nonsense. His blood covers and cleanses ALL of our sins, past, present, and future.  Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Hebrews 13:8

Paige’s NEW normal will be ours one day, reunited in a glorious place without the sting of death that has been swallowed in His victorious Light. Until that day, every coo of the dove will remind me she rests in comfort and peace.  She once was lost but now is found. She traded her loss in for a crown. Her life and soul now redeemed. She is today Lani Paige - "Heaven's Helper."

We love you sweetie, and we’ll see you later.

Blind Spot

Tim A. Michael 

We all have one – a blind spot that is. I was reminded of this truth a couple of weeks ago as Ally and I traveled to Sherman-Dennison to the North Texas Youth Connection to drop off a donation. Traveling east on HWY 82 from Gainesville, Texas my thoughts traveled back some 33 or so years. It was the first game of the high school football season and our L.D. Bell Blue Raiders were on the road to face the # 1 ranked Sherman Bearcats. I was giving a friend a ride and we had the music blaring, rockin and rollin down that highway. For most of that leg of the trip I was driving well over the posted speed and paying little attention to what was going on around me.

At some point I came upon a car in the right-hand lane driving a lot slower than me (we had a football game to see don’t you know), so after some period of tail-gating (not the nice fun kind) I decided to pass him on the left. I simply moved over without signaling or checking my blind spot. Unfortunately there was a Volvo already occupying that real estate, so crunch! The upside is it didn’t really damage his car that we could tell, but the down-side is it left a huge dent in my left-rear quarter panel. I was sick. We exchanged insurance information and went on our way. Guess who couldn’t enjoy the game? Adding insult to misery, we lost 52-26.

I got home really late so I didn’t bother telling mom and dad until the next day. For the record, Saturday is a good day to reveal this sort of thing. Why? It’s “family” day, it’s “big breakfast” day, it’s “less stress day-off” day. If you’re going to reveal something like a bad grade or an auto mishap, ALWAYS do this on Saturday – trust me. I took dad out to the driveway and showed him the fruit of my road-trip. He opened the trunk and literally popped out the dent with one hand.

The Heavenly Father is also like that – He can repair our damage with one-hand-tied-behind-his-back. Which, by the way, is another reason to wait for such revelations; Dads are pretty much super-heroes on Saturdays. There was still a tiny wrinkle about the size of a quarter in my fender, just big enough to be noticeable by me, but small enough to make any claim or repair totally unwarranted. Let’s call it Jacob’s limp.

So the blind-spot requires inspection, and by definition, by someone else. We all need people in our lives that are willing to speak the truth to us in love. Too many times we don’t for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. Regarding that, we Michael’s have a saying, “Risk the friendship to save the friend.” God is not so concerned with salvaging a part if it destroys the whole. (check out Matthew 5:30 or Mark 9:43-45)

John 15 is also one of my favorite passages regarding this…(here are verses 1-4)

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."

The portion of that passage that jumped out at me recently is “no branch can bear fruit by itself.” We need people in our lives to help us see, well, us - us as we are, and as we can be. The old adage “love is blind” is BS. The true friend or companion sees as The Father does, the end product or the perfected version, but they also see us where we are and can help us see the deltas between the two. Hillary Clinton took a beating over her “it takes a village” stance, and contextually speaking was missing the mark, however, there is some truth to that principle. We need community – family, friends, church, work, and even teammates.

I’ve always loved team sports, and yet have been frustrated by them. Each one doing their part renders success. If any of you have seen “The Blind Side” you understand even more the point of this blog. It’s a story about Michael Oher who grew up in the worst of circumstances yet was adopted later in life by a family who saw his potential. He was an offensive lineman who became a left tackle in charge of protecting the (right-handed) quarterback’s “blindside.”

Michael came to understand what many of us have not fully grasped: while out doing our thing in life there is an enemy on the prowl seeking our demise, wanting to take from us what God has deposited in our care. Michael would do anything to protect his friends, his family, and his team. We all need a Michael in our life. We all need that friend that sticks closer than a brother. I have more than one Michael in my life. To that end, I am abundantly blessed. I have friends I can be “real” with and still be loved. I have friends I can share intimate details of my life and not be judged, but reproved and rebuked as needed.

I have a wife who also often fills this role. Couples also need a community of friends that can speak into their lives individually and as a unit. There are rare times that the last person you need to hear criticism or admonishment from is your spouse, but they are often the first. If you have redemptive relationships in your social network, you will likely get confirmation of that which your spouse speaks. Don’t be too quick to dismiss what your left tackle sees every single day. And if you are the spouse bringing something to your mate’s attention, do it in patience and love. They deserve it for putting up with you all this time. You have no doubt jumped off-sides a time or two, or been guilty of an illegal procedure, or holding.

This past Sunday I had the privilege of playing in our worship band at Marine Creek Church. We have 2 services so I have a chance to interact with dozens of people, and I’m still meeting new ones every week. After the service this week, I had packed up my gear, said my good-byes and started out for home. It was then that noticed a tickle in my right nostril. I look up in my rear-view mirror and discover a “tusk” growing out of it. I can’t grow hair on parts of my head, but I can sprout them from various other locations on my body – including my ears and back. Dang it! All I could think about was how many people saw it and cut the conversation short. Thinking to myself - Did I get the stink-eye and not remember?>

If you’re ever wondering if it’s okay to bring to my attention a tusk, a booger, or an open zipper, please do. I never rationalize that no one saw it, I always figure EVERYONE did, so the momentary embarrassment is much easier to cope with than the self-inflicted torment of my imagination. If only a friend had spoken up to reveal my “blind spot.” Again, we need those people in our lives that love us enough to say, “Hey! You’ve got a little stalactite dangling from your participle there mister!” I pray you find these people who are authentic enough to do that with you, yet loving enough to stick with you even when you’re snotty. Love to you all from a brother.

Proverbs 18:24
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Can we just be real?

By Tim A. Michael

I’m an advocate for the authentic. I hate plastic or polyester. Give me substance over symbolism every stinkin time. I hate “artificial sweeteners.” I once picked the wrong pie slice at Luby’s and literally thought I was going to cry. Synthetics suck – period. Even the best plastic surgeon on the planet is going to have a hard time convincing me those silicone augmented appendages (aka chin-rests) are attractive. I prefer boobs that have a little “bounce” to ‘em.

I’m pretty sure I’m on solid ground here from a spiritual sense. Matthew 6 is littered with censures against insincerity. Spiritual puffiness is simply hot air. I mean really – who disfigures themselves to bring attention to their “good deed” of sacrifice?

“Oh man – you look terrible!”

“I know. I’m suffering for the poor today – I’m fasting and praying.”

“Is that mascara you’re wearing under your eyes?”

“Uh…no. Dark circles. I’ve been up all night in prayer beseeching God for the poor.”

“You’re rich. Why don’t you just give them some money?”

“You know what they say about giving a man a fish versus teaching him to fish.”

“You have the biggest fishing business in all of Israel, give them a job.”

“Then they wouldn’t appreciate my prayers and righteousness, or God’s goodness.”

If there is one thing the church STILL struggles with, it’s self-righteousness. Just about any street preacher will tell you you’re going to hell without even knowing you. All the while screaming their judgment of the world, they fail to see their own sin of pride – you know – the one that got Lucifer thrown out of heaven.

Today’s spiritual climate requires the wisdom that can only come from the Holy Spirit Himself. Too many people are leaving the church because of the perception of hypocrisy and self-righteousness. Frustration abounds.

I love the 8^th Chapter of Romans, but especially this part:

V. 14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God

V 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed..

There is this unspoken tension in the world but we just can't seem to put our finger on it; it’s like a haze or morning fog; you can see it from a distance, but when you're in the middle of it, it just clouds your vision. It’s frustrating because you want the path clear and the journey without obstacles, yet we find our own earthen vessels to be our greatest obstacle of all.

V 20-21 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

Planet earth wants to be liberated from planet “me” and planet “you.” It desires planet “us” where we all matter. There is not one single individual from the Adamic race that doesn’t know and fight rejection on a daily basis. Every – last – one – of – us. It is why infidelity is rampant, abuse in abundant supply, and the performance mentality so prevalent in the workplace and unfortunately in the church.

The antidote is authenticity. Just be real people. Be real about who you are, what makes you tick, and what you want in life. If you screw up – own it. In fact – advertise it sometimes. It can be a healthy thing to laugh at yourself and your humanity. People are more likely to engage with you about their own struggles when you do. THAT is ministry. THAT is LIFE. THAT is what the church is called to do – engage.

V 22 – 25 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Sons and daughters – Daddy wants us to get it right by being real, but we can’t be real with others if we can’t be real with ourselves. We must look in the mirror and surrender what we see there. I can assure you so much more freedom is found in carrying a cross than the burdens of your wounds. Some of these are self-inflicted – repeat offenders we are. Woof! "Oh – there’s a puddle of vomit that I can lap up, I believe I’ll have that for dinner in lieu of a feast with the King!" Why does that make sense to us? Crazy clay pots.

I have some wonderful friends from churches past and present, and that incredible social medium known as Facebook. I see petty arguments there and inspirational stories of life and love. The common thread of the Church of Facebook is that crying out of creation. We want acceptance not rejection. I’ve seen people “throw down” just to see if others will accept or reject them. I’ve seen still others wear their feelings on their sleeves and post some of the most personal things of which we all screamed in unison “TMI!” I’m conflicted at the cries for attention and yet I want to encourage authenticity.

I guess my encouragement to you all is this: Pray naked. (Do this in your prayer closet please!)

Strip away the pretense of the public façade and “be who you be.” God has gifted each and every one of you with talents, words of encouragement, wit, or even the quality of just being real. The people we often refer to as “salt of the earth” typically don’t care what others think about them (or their lifestyles) but they balance that with a genuine love for their fellowman. Ah – the cry from the Father’s heart – “My children – love each other.”

Functional families do this unconditionally. We don’t necessarily “accept” bad behavior, but we don’t reject the person displaying it. My friend Barry Garrett has a quote on his facebook page that says “God doesn’t define people by their worst moments…neither will I.” THAT, my friends, is the heart of the father and should be the pulse of the church. Thank God for His grace. I’m sure Barry has employed this principle toward me over the years, and no doubt some of you have as well, so thanks.

I trust that as you all look to 2012, God will challenge you too to be “real.”

Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father but by me.” He defined Himself as TRUTH. Authentic. REAL. The antonym of synthetic. The next time you crawl into bed and enjoy “the touch, the feel of cotton” sheets be inspired to touch another life with the organic substantive love of Christ without expectation that muddies water. Give them a drink of fresh water and breathe into them a breath of fresh air – we all need both to live.