Hebrews 12:1-2
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
I still find myself to be broken in so many ways; frustrated that I don't seem to walk in grace and faith and victory at all times. I mean really c'mon! How can I lose? How can I stumble or fall?! I have the Holy Spirit of God with me, Jesus in my heart, and His Word implanted in me. Obviously I haven't allowed it to be engrafted to the point of saving my "soul" (renewing my mind to the extent of walking in perpetual righteousness). I'm not saying I'm not saved - just incomplete in him
I often think of all of the Psalms and Proverbs that speak of walking "upright" before the Lord. I find that my gaze often darts from Him, or my countenance is humbled in shame. How can I walk upright before Him when I feel so inadequate in my failings and humanity? Oh that I could understand the treasure in the clay and walking in His way in lieu of my own.
As my flesh cries out for it's desires to be filled, be it Mcdonald's fries or the sloth of the sheets, I find I am as likely to walk in disobedience as not. I need some spiritual steroids, performance enhancers if you will. Now don't get me wrong, its' not about works to earn right-standing, but having my feet follow my confession of faith. I desire to have clean hands and a pure heart.
I believe two those things can be divorced. We can have the desire to walk in righteousness with our hearts in love with our Savior while finding that we do that that thing we wish not to, or not doing the thing we wish to as Paul says in Romans; or as the Hebrews author puts it, that "sin that so easily besets us." When we fall prey to such devices of the devil, or to our own selfish interests, we diminish ourselves with self. The Spirit seeks to sit where sin and/or self reigns. What is your sin(s) that so easily beset you?
The lust of the eye?
The lust of the flesh?
The pride of life?
Yep. That's me - all of the above. At some point or another, I will still fall prey to one of these implements of the enemy. I may see something to make my mind stray from Him and His purpose in me, or I will desire something that is contrary to His will and/or my benefit, or I will demand my right for MY way over his. Why is that?
I conclude there is still a void in me that needs to be filled with more of Him. So I am proactively seeking to submit more to Him today than I did yesterday, and then pursue Him with greater intensity tomorrow. Intentionality is a word I keep hearing over and over again. My prayer for you as that you will intentionally inquire of the Lord what you need to submit to Him this day so you can take that next step in your journey to Him and to wholeness.
I crave His Presence to fill the holes of my heart, for in His Presence is fullness of Joy. I have asked Him to illumine the spaces in me that are playrooms of darkness and let His Light dispel it. I continue to invite Him to come, stay, and occupy, instead of temporal visitations and manifestations of grace. Lord that you would live in and work through me.
May I walk upright before you looking into your face for strength rather than downcast in defeat. In You is found purpose so I sing your praise that you may inhabit it and me - a tent of your dwelling. Fill me up with your mercy and grace that I can walk as a son. May you too be refilled, renewed, restored.
Psalm 51:10-13
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
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